Explain This to Me
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: Hawkeye cant stop thinking...all he wants to do is sleep for the love of...


Explain This to Me  
  
By: Trivette Lover Heather  
  
AN:  
  
Takes place late seasons. After Radar is gone.   
  
Just some rambling of Hawkeye's thoughts as he tries to get some sleep.   
  
Enjoy!   
  
*************************  
  
Sometimes I wonder why the world works the way it does.  
  
I hate this stupid stupid war.   
  
Who has the right to take me away from my family? Who has the right to take me away from my life?  
  
Yea I know, I know… all things happen for a reason. But explain to me why that meant it had to happen to me.   
  
Gosh, I miss Henry. I really really miss him. Explain to me why he had to die and not me?  
  
Looks like wounded again soon.   
  
Wonder if one of those shells is ever gonna hit home right on top of the operating room?  
  
I mean it doesn't matter that we're a hospital. This is war after all.   
  
The hell with war. The hell with it.   
  
Well I guess its here so we gotta do the best we can. Someone explain to me why we're here again?  
  
Trappers at home cuddling with his wife in front of the TV…someone explain to me how he got to go home and I'm the lucky one who got to stay?  
  
Ya know I can almost feel it. It's almost time to start cutting up those boys.   
  
Isn't that wonderful? I can almost actually tell when those oh so awaited wounded are about to pour in. Goes to show the skill I've picked up during this fine experience.   
  
Though I must say, well really I shouldn't.  
  
Bet Frank is having a good old time about now. Shaking hands with the big time killers.   
  
Wonder if I should go visit Margaret in her tent? Yeah right. The smack in the face would wake me right up.   
  
Why can't I sleep? Will somebody please tell me why I can't sleep?  
  
It's not like I've slept the past 2 and a half years anyway. But for all intensive purposes right now I cannot sleep.   
  
Haven't lost a case in 2 weeks. Do I hear an Amen?  
  
Nope. No Amen…. How about a Hosanna?  
  
Wonder how Henrys family felt? They were so close to having him back…ah hell with this war.   
  
Okay I need to get some sleep; I'm getting that feeling again.   
  
I've always been able to sleep after a 14 hours plus session…huh…maybe I'm too tired I can't fall asleep…  
  
How about a drink, that'll do it.   
  
How about two.   
  
Three. Four. Five. Six.   
  
BJ is asleep.  
  
Even Prince Charles has turned his mouth off for a nice rest.   
  
What is wrong with me?  
  
Wonder how the cases are doing in post op?  
  
No! I need to sleep.   
  
Wonder what time it is back in the States. No matter how many times I've done the calculation I still can't figure it out.   
  
Bet my Dad is having no trouble getting to sleep, he could sleep during the Opera.   
  
It's pretty quiet around here; I've become a pro at sleeping, even through the neighborhood shelling.   
  
Seven. Eight.  
  
Geez I can't even pass out; I've become so immune it takes quite a bit more to get me even the least bit loose.   
  
Wonder how Radars animals are doing?   
  
A smile goes across my face. Remembering when Henry and Trapper chase that dog around the compound, then it ended up chasing them. Classic.   
  
Gosh, I really miss them.   
  
I guess I could start to day dream about what it'll be like when I get out of this hell hole.   
  
That was a quick dream.   
  
Nine. Ten.   
  
Sure wish I could sleep.   
  
I know there are gonna be more casualties soon, I'm wasting precious time here!  
  
Boy, BJ went out like a light. Good man that BJ. Stays faithful to his wife, writes home every week, boggles my mind.   
  
Back to the day dreaming….  
  
Okay that's enough.   
  
Bet Henry would have been happy back in the world. Running that Mayo Clinic of his.   
  
Eleven. Twelve.   
  
Geez, even the booze hasn't started to kick in. This is ridiculous.  
  
What to think about? What to think about?  
  
(He grabs Radars teddy and cuddles up.)  
  
Well Teddy, ya always got Radar to sleep…let's see what you can do kid.  
  
The sun is starting to set, like someone is turning out the lights.   
  
The hell with this war.   
  
Finally my eyes are resting.   
  
Time to get some sleep.   
  
He holds Teddy close and falls into a deep sleep…peace at last….  
  
!!!ATTENTION ALL PERSONELL…INCOMING WOUNDED….!!! 


End file.
